Learned last night why too much pride can be such a harmful thing when I was hurt because of someone else's own need to "prove" something. I was denied my black belt last night at our belt test. I have been practicing for 2 1/2 years for it and I was denied it as someone next to me received theirs even after they had made some very basic, lower belt errors.
Now, for those of you who may not know much about Tae kwon do, let me help explain.
You have roughly 2 yrs of training before you get your black belt (if you are not no changed at a test). There are 12 belts before your black belt. You test every 2 months. Now, I have been training 2 1/2 years because I had to take time off for school. When training, you train on a certain form, board break, and some sparing techniques in order to be able to test for your next rank. You receive stripes at the end of your 2 months for those exact things saying you are ready to test. At the test you are required to preform your learned form, board break, and demonstrate sparing effectively. Everyone knows that if you do those effectively, you will advance ranks. The only way in which you won't pass is if you forget crucial parts of your form of don't break your board within 3 tries.
Well, the owner of our place has been on a power hungry streak recently, threatening to no change people for "small details". Well he has been hard on the 2nd and 3rd degrees which makes sense since they are training black belts. But he has been very inconsistent, and unspecific with the colored belts. He has been passing people who visibly mess up form and no changing people who did nothing wrong to prove the point that he is powerful, should be feared and can do what he wants. I was no changed last night for something as small as having 1 or 2 of my 20 front kicks he had us do not be curled back enough. My board break was broken on the first try, on a harder board than what he wanted me to do, my form was almost perfect for my belt level and I demonstrated everything we learned in sparing. He no changed me for front kicks he had the 3 people going for our black belt get back up and do in front of him. Now, let me just make another point, the front kick wasn't even in our form. There was no way we were to know he was going to do that because that is not what we get our stripes for. He also only did it to the 3 of us upper belts and not the whole class, so in that it was very biased, unfair, and planned on his part. I was so pissed when I found out he didn't pass me.
I still am.
Afterwards he proceeded to try to brag to the audience about how he grappled our head instructor and held out for quite a bit as if that was a huge accomplishment.
He always preaches to only compare yourself to yourself but then brags over doing better than others, tells another colored belt that if a kid can break two boards, then he can, tells my own dad that he has "pride issues" and that's why he couldn't break his board. I'm sick of this jerk faced ass hole to get away with what he wants. I don't know what he is trying to prove. He also no changed another kid last test for the same thing he did to me even though everything that kid did was perfect. Then he proceeded to pass 5 other kids who all except 1 had very sloppy done forms. He also passed a girl for her 2nd degree even though she didn't break her board on 3 tries like you're supposed to.
He's power hungry and I'm done.
I can't go back now to finish because I have school so I don't know if I'll ever finish my black belt even after my long time of training. Which to me is heartbreaking. For him to no change me for his own pride and allow me to live with never completing something I've spent so long on.
It is what it is. But I will never accept his decision because I know I did nothing to deserve a no change at my level. I will not beat myself up over this because it was nothing I could have prevented. It was on a kick that wasn't in our form, we had not practiced in a while, we were never told was going to be in the test, and was simply him looking for a reason to no change me.
I'm done with this shit.