Tuesday, November 26, 2013


So I read this quote today:

A woman is not written in braille, you don’t have to touch her to know her.  -Unknown
And it honestly seriously caught my attention. My first thought was damn. . . . that's so true. But why do we, as women, so often believe that the only way we are to let men know we love them is to allow them to touch us? So many women, and I think a lot of you can agree with me, regret many of the physical situations they have had with men and feel pressured to rush ahead in many experiences. Why? Because almost every single person has only ever wanted to be known. Not their bodies be known. . . but their mind, their soul, and their heart. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. We have all heard that quote but have any of us really ever sat down and broken it down? What does it really mean? Is it that distance allows people to step apart and away from each other and out of each others arms so that they can truly begin to understand the other person for who they are?
Your naked body should only belong to those who fall in love with your naked soul. -Charlie Chaplin

That made me stop and think as well. It made me truly question my life and those of people I know. Intimacy is only meant to come when we are able to bare our heart with someone. . . otherwise it is purely lust. And I began to ask myself. . . have I truly opened up to anyone that much as to allow myself to share more than just my heart? Then it made me think back to past relationships I've had and how I have regretted decisions I've made and the things I've done regardless of it be something as simple as holding hands or kissing. And I asked myself why. And the answer I came up with was exactly that quote. I shared myself with them before I shared myself.
Then I was reminded of one of my old relationships with this horrible guy who only ever wanted my body and if he didn't get what he wanted he would emotionally tear me down and I was reminded of what people told me. They told me I deserved better and then I stumbled upon this quote: 

Everyone tells you that you deserve better but no one is willing to give it to you.

And I just froze. I almost broke down because that was exactly what I had felt for years. People told me I deserved someone great and wonderful but at the same time nobody was willing to give me that. No one was willing to give me the time of day they told me I deserved. No one was willing to give me the love they told me I deserved. And then I thought. . . was it because they knew they weren't strong enough to give it? And they knew that someone eventually would come along who was? But then it got me thinking about, isn't that just relying on the future and karma to be exact?

And in the end, we were all just humans. . . 
drunk on the idea that love, only love, 
could heal our brokenness. 
- F. Scott Fitzgerald

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