True Beauty

It’s weird how life changes before your eyes. It almost seems like a movie at times in the way time elapses; so quickly yet paused just long enough on the moments that truly make the story. Yet then at times life seems to move along no faster than a cloud; so slowly that you don’t even notice when it has left or when it will ever reappear. People have a funny way of making life seem to speed by or slowly edge along. They come in and out, and stay just long enough for you to learn of yourself and how quick you learn to love and trust. They come and linger long enough for you to grow and watch them grow before one day you awake and they are no longer there. Then they come and they stay. . . long enough until one day they awake and you are no longer living. I found this out the hard way. I, at times, relive the people in my life that have passed, lingered, and stayed. It’s always a surprise to me of how much life changes before us.  How people change. There must be something more to life than the relations we have with the ones surrounding us. There must be more to this life than living everyday for another. At times, I often feel I no longer understood life as completely as I once thought I did. It’s funny how life changes like that. You wake up one morning surrounded by only questions. Questions you once thought you had the answers to but then realized that you had only scratched the surface. Life is full of people. And people make up this world more than even air itself. They keep us sane as well as drive us insane but everyone has a place and without this somewhat chaotic order, we would all plummet to complete confusion. People make the world go around and around. Without them, this Earth would be nothing more than a ball orbiting a sun. With people, this ball suddenly becomes an object with an identity; a sphere with a name. Earth. Filled with something more; life.

I look back at my life and ask myself questions. What truly mattered then? And why did I think it mattered when now it is nothing more than a thought from the past, a pinch of time on the line of eternity, a day to this life, and a feeling all my own? But then it truly does matter because it was a moment. It was a moment where two people collided to make something more. More than the circles we run or the single life we lead. It was a moment where two paths collided, intertwined, or crossed before heading their own way. Those are the moments that leave us learning. But why do we learn and what must we gain from these moments except an acceptance and an acknowlgement that we truly aren’t alone? That no matter if a moment left happiness, pain, or grief, we are to understand that we were allowed to take part in a moment of beauty, where two became one and a masterpiece was sprouted from which a destiny was changed and a life was altered. Maybe it was not altered in a large way, but one small enough to cause future change, future thoughts, future memories and moments for one to look back upon. These themselves are reasons to be glad of any collision we have with another. We had the opportunity to take part in another’s life; to experience this Earth as they do and to catch a glimpse into the mind of another. We created a piece of history.

This world is so beautiful and I find I often lose sight of this. I get caught up in the day to day stresses and instead find myself living in what could be or what was instead of what is. Because what is will become what was and leads to what will be. This world has a beauty like no other and reflects this beauty to me through the people within it. Each person has their own beauty they radiate. But often I get caught up in the act of comparison. I compare my beauty to theirs as one compares a stone to a shell. They both have beauty but they are incomparable. I get caught up in the act of losing sight of what is true, real, and honest. But on those rare occasions I do see the beauty, each person I see is a different creature… a different creation. They amaze, astound, and quiet me. I notice the things about them that are unique to them. They way they move, speak, and think… each thing, unique. It’s the outward appearance of everything inward. It’s the product of their individual DNA, made up of different orders of only 4 nucleotides but in a different way so as to make them completely unique from the person standing next to them or living half way around the world. It is a product of years of childhood, years of paths becoming crossed by others and years of self-seeking. It is this intricate web of life that astounds me and pushes me to learn as much as I can of this human soul. It pushes me to help those around me also see this beauty; to be at peace with themselves, others, and the world.  

It is all this that leads me to questions. Leads me to ask is there more to life than simply worrying of others, forgetting the beauty, and letting fear stifle our intuitive, curious souls. I ask myself why we allow ourselves to do this and why we allow ourselves to disregard the thought that there must be something much bigger than us out there that keeps this world turning.